A Modern Data Analyst

The Modern Data Analyst

I am the very model of a Modern Data Analyst,
If insights you are needing I can whip you up a priceless list
I know the hits and clickthroughs and I slice them categorical
Creating many dashboard that display in metaphoricals

I’m very well acquainted, too, with algorithms elegant
And how to keep your message and your media most relevant
About Big Data theory, I am sick of all the kangaroos
Who fill your head with promises of which I must you disabuse

I’m very good at integrating differential data streams;
I cluster Hadoop nodes and can create ginormous bit machines
In short when you need insights, coefficients that can coexist
I am the very model of a Modern Data Analyst

For monetizing eyeballs I can do it fast and very much
And optimize conversion rates with multivariate tests and such
I can design responsive code for mobile or for website guests
And find the perfect headline through semantic and linguistic tests

In predictive analytics I’m an expert data scientist
I break down data silos with a cookie that can long persist
I’ve been around since Sawmill and to prove to you that I’m mature
I don’t call it Adobe, I will always call it Omniture

I’ve targeted behavioral with flawless execution
And wowed my peers with feats of multichannel attribution
In short I’ve an affliction not helped by a psychoanalyst
I am the very model of a Modern Data Analyst.

To prove that my hypotheses are not random coincidence
I’ll run my tests until I reach statistical significance

I can surely talk the paint off walls until my friends are vomiting
By quoting Wannamaker and with marketing mix modeling
When at a cocktail party I can crush a conversation
By pointing out the difference twixt concurrence and causation

To prove your point and finally refute all of those skeptics
Just fill your head with learnings at this Summit called eMetrics
And when you take on board what you have learned from all our panelists
You’ll be the very model of a Modern Data Analyst.

Lyrics by Jim Sterne

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About GilPress

I launched the Big Data conversation; writing, research, marketing services; https://whatsthebigdata.com/ & http://infostory.com/
This entry was posted in Big Data Analytics, Data Science, Data Scientists. Bookmark the permalink.

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